So many thoughts I had to hit down to remember...my sister came over yesterday, and kid 3's Hulk fists were on the couch. She told us we shouldn't leave our sex toys laying around. An then all I could think was, if I were a gyno, I could use these. With only certain patients, though. The ones who don't suck. Walk Into the room with the Hulk fists on. With rubber gloves over them. Say hi, open two five gallon buckets of KY, and dunk em in. Ready for your exam??
I would think that was awesome.
Then. I remembered I have a paper mâché mold of my belly when I was pregnant with kid 3. Boobs and all. And I had plans for it, but now it's just in the closet collecting dust. So, I feel like I need to do something with it. Like make a chip and dip bowl. Two dips, one big ass chip bowl. OR I would paint it, anatomically correct, and wear it at his graduation. The ultimate embarrassment. And then, on his 21st birthday, we could make it into a piñata. I don't know. What the hell else am j supposed to do with it?!
Then! A book. I don't know if it's more for stoners, or more for kids. A book, about stoner problems, written in a kid book format. You can teach kids to read, OR entertain high people. Dual purpose book. Kid format. See Dwayne? Dwayne runs slow. See Dwayne look for his keys. His keys are on the table in front of him. Dwayne does not see his keys. Dwayne get upset. Dwayne lost his keys. Sally sees Dwayne's keys. Sally laughs at Dwayne. Dwayne sees his keys. Dwayne laughs at Dwayne.
Good book.
There is a very real experiment going on in my house, and when I have the results, you will be alerted.
