Just saw an infomercial for the bacon bowl. And wow. That's fucking ingenious. I wanted to devour it. They should probably ditch their advertising point that it serves the perfect portion of Mac n cheese, tho. Like if you're trying to count calories. Don't eat too much Mac n cheese, bacon bowl is the perfect serving size! But it's fucking in a bowl of bacon. Sounds delicious, but if I'm eating things out of bowls made of bacon, clearly I'm not concerned with calories. Or hardened arteries.
My New Years resolution is to buy a bacon bowl maker. Also, to eat more bacon. And bacon makes me happy.
Someone I know resolved to not yell at her kids for an entire year. And I kind of feel like I need to report her to a child labor task force, because she has obviously leased them to a foreign country for the year. I could not yell at my kids if I never saw them. No problem. That resolution would last an hour for me. No one hears me unless I'm yelling and flailing like one of those dancing wind socks they put in front of car dealerships. Even those look more controlled than I do.
It's really only a matter of time before I have a psychotic episode. Families are fun. In my defense, I did not go crazy willingly. I was driven to the front door of crazy, and I have been sitting on the curb waiting for my ride home for years. I don't think anyone is coming.
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